Into the Light

XXXXXXX About 5 Years Ago XXXXXXX

Coach closed her eyes and exhaled a deep sigh before starting.  "Lexy, we gave you a full ride because we expected you to be our star.  You're a high flyer and more flexible than anyone else on the team.  You also are the best dancer, by far."
I looked down at my hands, which were wringing each other.  I knew where she was going, and I knew she was right.
Coach continued, "We know you're in a difficult place and going through a horrible, traumatic experience.  It hasn't been long, we know that.  That's why we're not going to make decisions this fall about what to do for the rest of your college career.  We want to do what we can to support you.  However, we need to know that you want to be here, and that your heart will be in this, once it starts healing."
I nodded my head silently, and covered my eyes with my hands, beginning to silently cry into them.  Coach moved from around her desk and sat in the chair next to me, pulling me as close as the chairs would, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.  "I'm sorry, Lex.  You know we are here for you and will do whatever we can for you."
I sniffled.  "I do want to be here.  I just... I don't know how to get my... my... I don't know how to get what's missing back," I resolved.
"Well, from a personal standpoint, you probably should talk to someone.  I can get you the name of a great on-campus counselor who I think will help." I nodded.  "From a cheerleading perspective, the way you appear on the field, it's as if you've lost your confidence. It's almost like you've lost who you are.  You're hurting, but don't lose yourself in that hurt.  It's okay for you to still be confident in your abilities and who you are."  She paused, then continued tentatively, "I didn't know your parents well, but I'm sure they would have wanted that."
I again nodded my head, unable to speak.  I knew she was right.  I was lost.  I had lost my confidence, my spark.  And I wasn't sure how to get it back.

XXXXXXX Present Day XXXXXXX

I had made it in enough time to be shown the stage and the prepping area before it really got busy for the night.   The manager, Rod, was handsy, but never touched where he shouldn't.


When he took me back to the locker room, there were probably 10 to 15 girls already back there.  This was a large club, and within an hour or two, there would be closer to 30 some girls, probably.  I liked them big.  I liked when there were multiple stages.  I really liked when I drew the largest crowd, people leaving the smaller stages for mine. 


"Megan, over here,"  Rod called.  A gorgeous girl wearing a bra and thong walked over towards me, looking me up and down.  She had long black silky hair, brown almond shaped eyes, naturally creamy and smooth skin, and was a good 4 inches taller than me.  But, being taller than me wasn't hard to do, since I was only 5'2".  "Megan will show you the ropes for anything else you need."  Then he left.


"Well."  That was all she said.  Then she turned and I followed.  I liked her already.


As we made our way through and past the other girls, some were really friendly giving me half-naked hugs, and most offered me dirty looks.  I understood.  You never liked fresh meat coming in and possibly taking away your regulars and the money that could be yours.  Especially not in my case.  I only had a 2 week contract here.  These girls were all permanents to this club.


We went to a brightly lit station in the back.  She again looked me up and down.  "I was expecting someone taller.  But, your hair looks amazing.  And whoever did your tan knew what they were doing."  She ran a finger down my upper arm, as if to ensure my spray tan wasn't going to rub off.  "Plus, you're beautiful, so there's that."  She nodded approvingly.


I could tell Megan was the Queen Bee here.


"You'll go on in about an hour.  Did you give your playlist to Rod?"  I nodded.  "After your set, you'll get a brief break, then you'll make rotations on the stages and working the floor.  Once you get back to main stage, I'll be joining you and we'll see how it goes."  She shrugged.


I gave her a half smile back.  "You're really sexy," I said, simply.  Back when I'd started dancing, I used to get intimidated by other attractive girls: especially the ones I perceived as better looking than me.  I quickly gained the confidence, and to an extent cockiness, needed to not care and use it to my advantage. 


All she did was smile in return.  "So, what brings you to Key West?"


"Work."


"Sounds entertaining," she smirked.


"The name of the game, if you will. How long have you danced here?"


"Mmm," she seemed to ponder.  "Sometimes too long, other times not long enough.  Let me help you with your hair."


This time it was my turn to shrug.  She ran her fingers through my perfectly coifed hair, naturally platinum blonde on top, and dyed black underneath.  As she worked to give my hair volume, I perfected my dark smoky eye and thick eyeliner. 


Once done, I unbuttoned my large plaid shirt I had on, and pulled down my tiny shorts to put on my first outfit.  I removed my bra and Megan leaned in close to look at my breasts.  "Real?"


"Yes ma'am."


She raised her eyebrows.  "Impressive.  I wish my real ones were that nice."  She removed her bra and showed me her implants.  Her plastic surgeon had done a good job.


"If you hadn't told me, I may not have noticed!"


She laughed.  "Until I lay on my back."


I laughed with her. Then, she left me alone to finish up, and went to helping other girls with their hair, makeup and outfits, if you can call them that.  Looking around at the varying degrees of nakedness, it gave me a sense of comfort and familiarity.  Sometimes, now, it was easier to be in this setting than out in public.  I felt more naked and vulnerable outside of these windowless walls, than inside of them.


I put on my opening outfit.  A tiny black lacy 2 piece, that would end up on the stage.  I didn't usually strip at fully nude clubs, but did if the money was right.


It was finally my time to shine.  I stood behind the curtain of the main stage, my heart pumping in anticipation, until I heard the opening beats of my first song and slid between the part of the velvety curtain and out into the light.