Monday, January 2, 2017

Dear Lexy

Dear Lexy,

I know I'm the last person you want to hear from again.  You owe me nothing.  I owe you an apology.  I really would like to do that in person.  I understand if you don't want to.  I'm only in Key West for 2 more nights.

Brett

He left the hotel name he was staying at and room number and also his phone number at the bottom of the simple note.  What the actual fuck, Brett.

I rolled my eyes and crumpled up the note and threw it towards the trash can in my room.

I dropped backwards onto my pillow, sighing.  I pulled the sheets up to my chin and closed my eyes.  I started to drift off and was half-dreaming that I was giving my best dance ever on stage and Brett was the only person there, watching me hungrily.  I started sliding down the pole and it just kept going and going, and soon I was falling in a black abyss.  I awoke hard with a jerk onto the bed, trying to stop my imaginary fall.

"Fucking Brett," I muttered to myself.

I angrily snatched my phone off the table next to the bed and got up and grabbed the crumpled paper and texted him: where are u.  it's lex.

Within seconds he was responding back.  He responded with the name of a bar that I had been to with Toby that was only a couple of blocks from my hotel.

I told him I was on my way.  I slipped on a dress that was laying over the back of a chair and slipped on some strappy heels.  I hadn't washed my face yet so my makeup was still heavy and overdone for this bar, but I didn't care.  I threw my hair up in a messy topknot to complete the look.  I know I looked like I cared too much, but I was really hoping it came across that I didn't care at all.

When I got to the bar the bouncer didn't bother checking my ID.  If I was more on the slutted up side my ID was never checked.  Turns out bars want hot girls in there and don't care if they may or may not be underage.  Plus, I was fully aware when my hair and makeup was all did that I looked older than I really was.

I quickly spotted Brett with his group of guys.  He made eye contact, grabbed his beer and headed over without saying anything.  I watched one of his friends nudge another and soon they were all looking at me, then hollering obscene things at Brett regarding me.  He ignored them.  I could feel his eyes quickly give me the once over.

When he got to me, he lightly grabbed my elbow and started steering me towards the front of the bar where it was a little quieter.  It was almost closing time so it wasn't nearly as busy as it would have been had I come straight there after work.  "I'll put them in their place when I get back to them."

I shrugged and remained silent.

He took that as his cue to keep talking.  "Listen, thank you for meeting me.  I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry for the other night, I'm sorry for how things ended with us.  I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you as well as I should've been back then.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was getting married."

I scoffed.  "Don't worry, Brett, you aren't the first soon to be married guy that's felt me up and you surely won't be the last," I spat at him.

The hurt immediately filled his eyes.  I knew it was a low blow.  I knew Brett felt bad not only to me, but probably to the girl he was marrying, so I wasn't helping his guilt.

He took a deep breath.  "Lexy, I know I hurt you in that moment, too.  I know you felt the same way I did - "

I cut him off.  "No.  I felt nothing.  I'm sorry you did."

I could tell by his expression he knew I was lying, but he let it slide.  "Ok, well, I just wanted you to know that as sorry as I am for what happened, I'm not sorry I had the chance of running into you to catch up."

"Well, the next time you want to 'catch up' why don't you go ahead and facebook me like a normal person, k?"  I was still hurt.  He was absolutely right.  He hurt me and I did feel something.  Something that I wasn't ready to face, yet.  "I'm going to head back to my hotel now.  Have a good rest of your Key West trip."

He looked at me sadly, "You too."  He pulled me into a brief hug and we parted ways.

I turned to walk out and bumped right into Toby.